sorry i havent been updating

as if the internet REALLY CARES.

internet.

but to explain, i found a loophole in the itunes system that allowed me to get TONS of paid apps for free, until i realized it works until it doesnt and then you cant download any apps at all.

how it works: rather than “submit to the man” aka have a bank account aka be a normal human, i do whatever internet dealings i must under visa prepaid gift cards in increments of $25. so with my itunes account about to be depleted, i noticed that my card wasnt actually charged until a few days later when i would get an email from apple saying this is what you bought and so on and so on, the rare day i would opt to get a paid app. well. you know what this means.

in one sitting i downloaded about 18 apps that cost $2-$4 a pop before the app store could do the tally, and was able to open and play with all of them to my hearts content, the only drawback is once they find out youre told that “theres a problem with your billing information.” and they put a halt to you being able to D/L anymore shit or even update (have you ever seen a tiny red 106 badge on your appstore icon?) 

yeah, the “problem” is i dont give a shit.

but still, if you dont give a shit about downloading apps for a while, and want a ton of paid ones, theyre not gonna go after you.. so its kinda worth it. oh shit. maybe i should jailbreak now.

ill post from time to time when a free app catches my eye…  that you should get and tell me about.

adios suckas

how to get a free audiobook from audible.com

1. Go to http://www.audiblepodcast.com/unknownstuff
2. Sign up for a free account, you are given 1 credit for a audiobook of your choosing.
3. Cancel your account within a month before they charge ya. ;)

FREE TODAY, PAY TOMORROW. 2 SWEET APps

Food Feats

Finally an app that makes good use of your GPS location. This app will sort and display food challenges by distance from your current location. So whether youre looking to score a free T-shirt and 6lb burge, need a simple self-confidence boost, or, want to find a wall of polaroids of like minded stomachs, this app, is the app. (I was able to find atleast 7 within biking distance!)

Pad&Quill

From developers fabulously retro, this app is my kinda note keeping app. Easily divvied, realistically displayed, and synch-ready to iCloud. bitching. for ipad and iphone.

For those of you midnight crusaders and bar bathroom rapers who were crushed by the shutdown of insanely creepy Girls Around Me App, im here to tell you that ban.jo and iCreep do the exact same thing, with more social networks, like instagram flickr twitter and the ones already used by Bitches to Rape, i mean Girls Around Me, facebook and foursquare.

enjoy! and remember, always wipe down the forensic evidence!

◖ᵒ ÿ◍ᵘ ⍹⍺⍝⍖ ⍕⍜ աɾ⌶⍆⍷ ⌊⍎ǩë A ❶⒊½ ⍒Ǝ∀ṙ ⚀❙◖ ⓖ┇⌌⌊¡¿ˀᵎ

Translation: Do you want to write like a 13 year old girl? And piss everyone off? who doesnt?

Remember when you first got that emoji keyboard and you were throwing that shit around as fuck, and making dicks jerking off onto that girl with her hands above her head? This is kinda not like that at all. So, Cool Writer HD. It has like, 5 more of those keyboards built into it, as well as a wide selection of these:

       ___ __
   _{___{__}\
 {_}      `\)
{_}        `       _.-””—.._
{_}               //’.—.  \___`.
 { }_,_.-~~—~~-::.—. `-.\  `.)
 `-.{_{_{_{_{_{_/— 8;=- `
     `-:,_.:,_:,`\._..’=- ,
         // // //`-.`` .-‘/
        « «     \ `—’  /——)
         ^  ^  ^     `-…..—”’

And LORD KNOWS how important THAT is. BUT! Another less advertised feature of CoOL wRiTeR hD is that it also doubles as a fully loaded Dropbox Syching Text Editor, that you dont have to pay for. PDFs your thing? Covered. And unlike all the other free Dropbox Text programs out there, Cool Writer HD supports image files, office documents, and iWorks as well as unlimited line and character count!

But wait, we’re not through! The people behind the Cool Writer HD curtain decided that while they were programming in one-touch ASCII bunny rabbits and the ☠☭☬☧☦✞ symbols, they might as well make the app an HTML, CSS, JS, PHP, XML, C, and CPP editor while they were at it. that synchs with Dropbox. 

Then they threw in in-text search, text to image or PDF conversion, WiFi printing, one touch text to SMS, email from inside the app, open documents from other apps, a hierarchy of folders if you want, AND 12 wacky stationary backgrounds for your documents, you know, in case you want a green notebook with butterflies, a fake yellow legalpad feel, or SantaClaus flying across the header. You also have the option to take any image from your library and make that your stationary background. Kinda tight.

Verdict? As a text editor, Cool Writer HD actually rules. As what its supposed to be… kind of retarded. 

Film Terminology Apps (Nerds Only)

1.) Close-Up Film Language Glossary 

From the German Educational Publishers Shoningh (could that sound any more legit?), this app features a wide range, and well illustrated glossary of film terminology. With hundreds of entries, links and “visual markers”, it’s a good pocket read if youre bored and without wifi as it’s database doesnt require an internet connection. The app gives you the option to favorite entries and leave bookmarks. For film enthusiasts, its a guilty pleasure, for film students, its a godsend.
developer:AMMMa AG

2.) Kodak Cinema Tools

Also featuring an in-depth glossary this app from Kodak is essential for anyone who shoots on film. First you have the film calculator which given a film format (35mm, 16mm, 8mm) and frame rate, will calculate for you the length of film you will need to record for a certain amount of time, or how much time you have left on the amount you have.  After this you have the brilliant depth of field calculator (I’ve seen a few of these for film stills, but this is the first I’ve come across for motion depth of field). There’s a Lab Locator to find out where you can get your film processed, other resources and even a Tape Color Guide for when things get more professional.

Snooze, Ya Looze, FREE TODAY, PAY TOMORROW Apps

1.) PixelWorks Studio

PixelWorks Studio is your typical edit via onslaught of filters photo app, with one key difference, it allows you to make changes not only to the entire picture, but also to specific areas of your photo, using your finger to “edit the filter in”, thusly:

Keen, right? We thought so, and by we I mean me and the two full-grown St. Bernards someone dumped in our yard last night while everyone was sleeping. Talk about mysterious! Digression aside, this app is great for those who love to tweak their images to no end. That is, if you can actually figure out how to use it. HDR heads on Instagram recommended this one to me but its been giving me guff. Better to have it free now though, I guess.

2. MediaBurner - Tube Downloader

Really, really easy to use YouTube video downloader, made free for a limited time. Those of you looking for a decent video downloader may have noticed that while many exist, YouTube’s team of lawyers have made their way through the app store forcing most apps of this kind to no longer support YouTube, but this one seems to have slipped through the cracks, so by all means, get what you can while you can! Unfortunately it looks like the app may charge a one time fee for “sharing” videos as it is the name of the Top In-App purchase on the app’s store page, but I’ve yet to come across this.

Supported sites:

- Youtube.com
- Dailymotion.com
- Vimeo.com
- Veoh.com
- Metacafe.com
- Break.com
- AOL Video
- Bing Videos
- Youku.com
- Tudou.com
- Ku6.com
- Pandora.tv
- Letv.com

and more!

Sharing capabilities:

- Share videos in iTunes so that you can transfer the videos to your computer
- Save videos to album (Camera Roll/Saved Photos Album)
- Email videos to anybody
- Send video links to your friends via SMS
- Share video links to social networks like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, GoogleReader etc.

As there are dozens of apps that claim to do the same thing, with virtually the same name (TubeDownloader, DownloaderPro, MediaProDownloader, TubeBurner… ), the icon for the app described here is a play button in a green circle, on fire. Yes.

JAILBREAK ALL THE THINGS!!!!

LINK to the appleTV JAILBREAK

when youre done you will have to download XBMC or/and PLEX for access to oh so many more networks for your appleTV. CNN, Pandora, MTV and a dedicated Simpsons channel to name a few.

To do this follow the instructions here for XBMC
(you are going to do this through Terminal on your Mac with your appleTV on and running plugged into your TV)

RAD.

IF YOU RUN INTO A ‘PATCHING RAM’ PROBLEM DURING THE JAILBREAK…

.

if youre having any other problems whatseover, email me at: humantooth@me.com

i got this shit.

FREE IN-HOME JAILBREAK FOR iOS 5.0.1!

That’s right, jailbreak where you masturbate!

PREPARATION:

Once your jailbreak is complete youre phone will be born anew, so you may not be left with your collection of ridiculous apps. I recommend you do a screen shot of all your homescreen pages and email them to yourself or throw them in Dropbox** so you have a list of your apps should you want to go back and reinstall them (i recommend this over backing them all up and throwing them back on, because a) some Cydia apps will replace your old ones in superior ways, and b) admit it, you could use the spring cleaning). Consider backing up your photos as well if you give a shit and they aren’t already.

Step 1. Go to this Website

Step 2. Download RedSn0w, latest version (0.9.10b) : Mac OS X or Windows

Step 3. Go back to the website and follow instructions. 

Meet Cydia, your new Appstore.

For those of you wondering, I didnt steal my iphone off some guy on the bus, and i can afford at&t, why would i want to jailbreak??

A: To Jailbreak is to get all the apps in the Appstore for FREE. All the apps. Free. FoReVeRz. True you may not need this blog anymore for its free aspect, but it’ll still be useful for hidden gems. I’m not worried. Also, the apps in Cydia (jailbreak appstore) are tremendous! Most are utility-type hacks, but a buttload of them are damn useful!

examples: unlimited apps in a folder, 5 - ∞ apps in the bottom dock, pull down tab to tweet/facebook/email from within any app (you can also do the same from the copy/paste menu), more here.

Also, the original reason that made me consider jailbreaking, as i was happy enough with the free apps ive been digging up, iBlueNova, a bluetooth pairing app that will finally allow me to pair my phone with my PoGo Polaroid Printer ($13.57 on Amazon!!). iPhone is hella cliquey with who it will and will not print with.

Benefits of this particular jailbreak:

1. No scary ethnic people involved!

2. This jailbreak is “untethered” meaning…  not tethered for the most part. The difference being that a tethered* (typical) jailbreak requires a computer connect everytime you restart your phone (ooooohhh. iiii get it) whereas the untethered.. does not.

3. Most people are scared that if they jailbreak their phone it will void their warranty as the apple store drones are so glib to point out, however RedSn0w provides an easy un-do and once removed is untraceable, so when you bring your phone back when you dropped it in the shitter, though you swear “it just stopped working one day”, your brief stint in piracy will go undetected.

*for those of you that already have a jailbreak, the site also provides a quickfix to undo tethering as well.

Your Welcome!

Editor’s Note: Have I done this yet? No. Reason being? You see how specific the titling of this article is? The reason that you need version this point this to update this point this is because jailbreaks dont carry over with each major software upgrade (that annoying thing that iTunes and your phone ask of you maniacally) with each software update comes new features, oftentimes barely worth it, and most of the time i don’t partake.

Howeverz, rooting around on the pocketweb for this blog has made me into a huge nerd and i read that the next update for iphone comes with an ingenius thing where they’re gonna add a “swipe up” to open the camera feature from the lock screen (so instead of pressing the home button twice to get to it, it will be right there on top)

Everytime you update, from what i understand, you gotta do a whole new jailbreak, and reinstall all your apps. I use my camera a grip so i think its worth the wait.

**If you dont have Dropbox at this point in your elife, you’se a damn fool

This Week in Ridiculousness vol. 2

Oh Wide and Wacky AppStore, the treasures you hold!

1.)

Lets start with Grouchr

Got a stick up your ass? Friends tired of hearing you whine all day? Why not broadcast your wah-wahs anonymously forever preserved in cyberspace? Say hello to Grouchr:

Descritpion:

Complain about your surroundings with Grouchr, and see what others are complaining about nearby. With the option to post complaints to Twitter and Facebook, complaining has never been easier and more satisfying!

2.)

and for the more passive aggressive bitcher, there’s Thank you, thoughts 

Rather than a forum for neo-hippies to give thanks, as the name would lead you to believe, Thank you, thoughts, is an app that allows its users to give underhanded compliments to specific people, places, or irony in general for being so awesome.

Heres a side by side of the two:

3.)

WHERE AM I, emotionally?

Tired of all those Navigation apps that only tell you your exact GPS location, and other helpful information? Its easy enough to find out where you are, but where are you REALLY? Metaphysical GPS knows! That’s right! This exists. And if it didnt sound stupid from the get go, fret not, for it gets stupider. 

The app, when loaded gives you the SAME ANSWER, EVERYTIME. Unless however, you happen to “by pure chance find yourself at one specific GPS Coordinate and, at that spot in the world, open the app, a special message of enlightenment will appear”. Also “this coordinate will never be revealed.”

Happy Hunting!

4.)

and finally, 

5.)

alllll free.